I meant to tell you about our adventure crossing the dateline. Our navigation software, which is directly connected to our GPS, was having trouble plotting our course to New Zealand, the distances and numbers were coming out whacky, and Frank was struggling to make it behave. He finally gave up plotted a course to the dateline, and we figured we’d cross that bridge when we got there. On the day we crossed the dateline, the most amazing thing happened, we actually circumnavigated the globe in less than a second. We have the trackline as proof. Our 10 hour distance traveled was 19487.7 miles (approximately the circumference of the globe at that latitude minus our approach to the dateline), and our 10 hour average boat speed soared from 8 knots to 1828 knots. We must now hold the record speed for circumnavigating the planet on any vessel.

I think I’ll buy a license to put out with the milk and cookies for Santa this year. Think of the efficiency gains, no more mucking out reindeer stalls for 12 months a year, no feeding elves to mine the magic dust, and no hassles with the planet’s psychological associations for all that dream manipulation sugarplum voodoo (and the risk avoidance – Santa an unlicensed practioner!). He can drop it all, just plug in his GPS and head for the dateline.

Then he can take the savings, close down his sock, underwear, pajama and tie departments, and open up a nanotechnology department. By this time next year, we’ll all have supercomputers in a paintcan, just paint a layer of supercomputer on your desk. I hope my new superthin desktop computer is waterproof though, shouldn’t be hard, just use a urythane base instead of water-based paint. I’ve got some good ideas, I could help with the reorganization, maybe he’ll hire me to oversee that department. That would perk up my wilting-by-the-day resume.

I know it’s not Thanksgiving yet, but what are you getting Santa for Christmas?

xoxomo